Tender Hearted Daughter of God

I once lived in a cave. Not a literal cave, but I was kept from the light, from laughter, and from love. From people. Sometimes from church.

I made excuses in my mind for this. I said that my ex didn’t know how to love properly and that he would some day come to love me.

I prayed for him, for his salvation. I thought he would come to the Lord, and once he had the Holy Spirit living within, then he would change.

But it didn’t happen. He only grew worse. He grew darker, meaner, more evil. I grew to fear him. I thought he might murder me.

I didn’t know how to escape. As he grew more controlling, I had fewer options. I wanted to honor God in my actions, but I needed to be safe.

I cried! I prayed! For years and years.

I reached out to a couple of pastors I knew, but since I couldn’t claim physical abuse, they couldn’t condone a separation, much less a divorce. They didn’t understand the emotional and psychological abuse I was suffering.

I know God doesn’t like divorce. But I learned that God loves me so much that He wants me to be safe. SAFE! As my ex grew more frightening, my prayers for guidance increased, and friends were telling me to do what I needed to be safe. Plus, if I needed a place to hide, they would hide me.

Finally I knew what I had to do… and I had peace. I had to ask him to move out, and fortunately, he didn’t kill me. God was in it all! He kept me safe. And once my ex was out of the house – wow! – the peace and security I felt.

And all this happened as I was doing my best to honor God… as I was listening to God… as I was praying… as I was in the Word.

God is good! All the time!